ManicWorld Magazine

Atrophy, Identity, and Art: Writing Through Change

‘I don’t know if there’s perfection found in storytelling. There has to be room for a mess, for open doors and loose ends‘

– What is Atrophy?

Atrophy by definition is the slow disintegration of the body. This song came as the first thing I ever wrote nearly three years ago now in the heat of breaking up with a girlfriend, leaving the church, and coming to terms with my sexuality. The song is about disregarding parts of myself for as long as possible, to the point where I didn’t even know what I was or who I wanted.

– How did it go from being an acoustic slow ballad to becoming a beaming pop song?

I knew this was a rock song when I wrote it, but I didn’t know how it would grow. My biggest musical influences have been a mix of Ben Howard and Bon Iver, Nirvana and Radiohead – and I think this song blends the two sounds pretty well. I view most of my songs like math problems, how do I add and subtract in order to build tension and emotion – I knew this one needed to explode. Kyle, my producer for this track, perfectly replicated the guitar solo I’d try to make with my voice until we found the sweet spot of release that I knew this song needed.

– You are a musician but would you consider yourself more of a poet?

I am a storyteller first and foremost. I’ve been writing since I could read, and it truly is the biggest dream that I have. Everything I do falls under that umbrella, whether it is writing music, poetry, novels, screenplays, or directing shorts.

– What was it about Atrophy that deserved a short film?

I know that this isn’t just my story. I am not and will not be close to the last Christian kid who grew up thinking that he deserved to go to hell for who he loved. This has become such an important cause for me – not to say I hate christianity, you should leave but to challenge both religious people and the LGBT community to practice humanity and humility. More than anything I want people to be who they are, and to not feel like they are forced to choose. This song and short film go so much deeper than just three minutes, I’m hoping for a feature film based off these characters and concepts.

– Is there anything thing in your life that you believe is off limits when writing new songs?

I think the only thing off limits is rap. I have hyper-pop songs, Country, Screamo, and I’d love to be able to explore all of these.

– How comfortable are you with sharing your experiences in your music?

I am unfortunately an open book, I love to yap and name drop in songs. There’s also no one that can write a better song about my life than me, so I like sticking to what I know, and expressing those emotions through melody and mystery.

– Do you think of music videos as an art form that you are well on your way to perfecting?

I would hope so, although I don’t know if there’s perfection found in storytelling. There has to be room for a mess, for open doors and loose ends. Music videos are some of my favourite things to watch and direct, so I hope I can continue to create these mini movies and maybe stray away from perfection and into excellence.

-Last but not least, do you think the glass is half full, half empty, or just twice as big as needed?

The glass is half full always! Despite writing and singing like the saddest man in the world, I am incredibly optimistic. I am so grateful for what I get to do and for what I have gone through. I believe that art can change the way people think, and I am blessed to be a small part of that.

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