ManicWorld Magazine

Fragments of Feeling: Art as a Reflection of Self

‘The question of “who am I” began to relate less to my personal identity and more to the fact that I get to experience a shared sense of humanity.‘

Do you think your work focuses a lot on the inner person? Lot of skeletons in your recent pieces.

After moving to Christchurch, I found myself with a lot of alone time. I took it as time to focus on myself. This lead to an uncomfortable obsession with self observation. Who am I? What am I doing? The exploration of identity started in quite a literal sense. I spent a lot of time in front of a mirror. Generally naked, always alone. Observing myself and drawing somewhat realistic, black and white self portraits in ink. Eventually, I became bored of the outside. Through stillness, I explored who I was in term of feeling. I have always loved the look of thermal imaging, and began to create self portraits in thermographic style. I love that the figures often appear genderless and indiscript. The question of “who am I” began to relate less to my personal identity and more to the fact that I get to experience a shared sense of humanity.

After a hefty stint of alone time, one of my dear friends came to visit. I felt my body shift in her presence. I exhaled. The world felt like home once again. I began wondering if this visceral connection can be fully attributed to the nervous system, or if there is something more. The final stint of my self exploration has been imagining how our physiology reacts to the world, and how this influences our perception of ourselves.

– What do you think is your default medium to express yourself and why do you think that is so?

Acrylic landscapes have been the majority of what I’ve been focused on the last 5 years. I absolutely love spending time in the mountains, and really enjoy painting places that have shaped me.

– Do you think there is a part of you that is a traveller and this reflects in how you immerse yourself in various art forms?

Yes, I’ve always hated monotony. This has meant I’ve lived and travelled to many places around the world. It also means I enjoy jumping between mediums and subject matters. Recently, creating whatever I feel in the moment has become a tiny act of rebellion against my perfectionism.

– Do you think different mediums bring out different emotions in you? Is the feeling of embroidery different from painting?

Yes mostly because of the level of precision required by different mediums. In a super detailed ink drawing, or embroidery piece, I often spend most of the hours on the “filler”. Lines and stitches that don’t require a ton of creativity, but are crucial for the depth and overall feeling of the piece. Whereas in mediums like gouache and pastel, I often spend less time on the finesse and more time on the creative decisions. Very different experiences.

– You tend to paint people  and peaks but you seem to embroider animals, why do you think that is?

When I was young, I painted a large series acrylic and scrapbook paper animal images. I don’t embroider often, but when I do, I enjoy paying homage to my younger artist.

– You are very outdoor-sy, how do you think this reflects in your work?

The mountains have shaped me immeasurably. I don’t know what my life would be if I hadn’t found the freedom and expression of time in the outdoors. For many years, I painted the places that have changed me. More recently, I’ve been working to express how I’ve changed.

– How did you come across the idea of combining embroidery and watercolour? Are you looking to mix up something new anytime soon?

Hmm as far as I can remember, that combo came from “I don’t want to fill all this space with stitches, and I have watercolor right here”. Recently I’ve been mixing gouache, chalk, and oil pastel. I tend to be pretty stingy with art materials, so new combos often come when I run out of something and need a last minute sub.

-Last but not least, do you think the glass is half full, half empty, or just twice as big as needed?

The glass is just as full as you poured it.

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